Read this before you have kids

This is one of those days you should read about before you get a dog or have kids. For many of you it will too late. It reminds me of that email that says :"If you want to have kids, carry a 20 pound bag around the house at 3 am for 3 hours then try getting up for work".

My day started at 3 am with the dog crying in pain and looking at me trying to tell me something I couldn't understand. I tried to get him down the stairs to go outside but he just looked at me; unable to move he was in so much pain. I was up for 3 hours trying to get him to either lay down or come downstairs. I finally gave him a doggie pain killer and he went to sleep. I fear this is the beginning of the end for my 12 year old baby and it breaks my heart. I am probably being dramatic...

Just as I was planning on calling the vet I get a call that Matthew has been suspended from school for the day for telling his friend he "would kill her". They take these things very seriously now and he was sent to the principal's office. When I went to pick him up he was so upset; hyperventilating and apologizing. I feel like a psycho because I went in there ready to beat him to a pulp and when I saw him it broke my heart; I wanted to yell at the school for being too strict. BUT if I were the parent of the other kid I would want them to enforce consequencces and ultimately I am glad they are teaching him a lesson. I never knew it would be this hard. Part of me says he's just a kid and part of me says holy crap is this how all the delinquents get their start? I know he has a good heart so I will err on his side and hope they don't call me as a witness at his trial in 5 years and use this blog as evidence of my leniency.

As if it could get worse I get an email from Megan's teacher saying she tried to pay for her $2.75 lunch with a $100 bill. Where does a 6 year old get a hundred dollar bill you ask? I have no fucking idea. I can assure you that I haven't seen a hundred bill in quite some time and as far as I know she has no job. Its a mystery. I am sure they are laughing at the school right now at our expense "ya what's going on with the Scearbos, they must be crack dealers sending their kids to school with $100 bills and their son acting like a Sopranos character".

And to think i was going to stay away from wine tonight.

things to organize the things

I spent $100 at Target yesterday buying things to organize my things (presumably to make room for buying more things). It occurs to me that perhaps I should just have less things but in my defense this was the pantry and there were kids snacks in there that expired in 2009. (By the way I am a religous follower of expiration dates - I throw anything away that's even approaching it - my husband has a thing of blue cheese in the fridge that i think has been there for a while and I want to throw it away but it has no expiration date and he says its fine. It is cheese thats been purposely molded so I guess I shouldn't worry about it but that's why I don't like it in the first place). ANYWAY as i buy these organizer things I can't help but picture myself selling them at a yard sale later. The cycle of buying things and getting rid of things seems endless. This makes me wonder what life is about. Nevermind .......who cares I have organizing to do. Organizing is one of those compulsive disorders that I have which I think should have been turned into a job. I go to people's houses and mentally start organizing things. You may think I am paying attention when I talk to you but I am usually mentally waxing your eyebrows or deciding how to best organize your canned goods. When I go to my friend Linda's house I immediately start clearing off her counters and organizing her pantry. I start throwing away her infant tylenol that expired 3 years ago - not to mention that she doesn't have an infant. When my kids outgrow something its in the bag to give to my sisters immediately. I secretely love trash day, I can't wait to get rid of all the stuff. I once threw away my old boyfrien's pot. Im my defense how was I supposed to know that a ball of aluminum foil on the kitchen table was valuable contraband? People should label their illegal items. Anyway my pantry is organized for the moment. Even the kids are impressed. We'll see how long THIS lasts.

Boogers

I must say I still don't really understand this blogging thing; why should I blog, what should I say? Who cares? Should I use this blog for good or for evil? As I think about it, let me stimulate your mind with this: BOOGERS. I am up at 5:00 am for no apparent reason except that my husband is congested and snoring and I had to blow my nose. Which led me to think: where do boogers come from? Do boogers have a purpose? First of all, I don't agree with the spelling of the word. Lets face it they should be called "boogas". In any case, I digress.  Wikipedia says a booger is:
Dried nasal mucus, pieces of which are colloquially known as bogeys^[1] in English and boogers^[2] in American English, is commonly found in the nose and is a result of drying of the normally viscous colloidal mucus (or snot).^{[3]
The next thing they talk about is eating boogers and whether its good for you. This is a little like eating gum; your mother tells you not to do it but sometimes you do. One time my friend Linda and I caught a guy picking his nose and eating it while driving and he saw us laughing at him. He pretended to flick the booger at us and we laughed so hard.... talk about remembering something stupid, that was over 20 years ago.    So back to my point about education and to the most important point of all now that I am reading this fascinating article; 
DO BOOGERS HAVE CALORIES? My research says no. Which makes me wonder what my point is in posting this; now that I have looked this up I can't remember what I wanted to know (this is so typical of me and SLIGHTLY helps explain why I am up at 5:00 am for no reason). Oh right; I was wondering why I have boogers. I was feeling sick a couple days ago and the cold I thought would slam me hasn't come yet.  Maybe I have cured it by constantly blowing my nose and getting the evil boogers out. Good for me, I'm so smart. Anyway, you can pick your nose and eat it now and know that you don't have to work it off on the treadmill.}  

Maybe I should lose my Mass attitude?

Yesterday I went to lunch and the lunch place is right next to petco so i went in to get Sam some cookies and he goes friggen berserk when we go there; running around like a loony bin excited. I got discombobulated and my phone fell out of my pocket. Now i lose my phone like 90 times a day (I hope Dan doesn't read this) but I didn't realize it, I go do my business come back to the car and realize my phone is missing. In the meantime this dude in a van pulls up and tells me to park my car straight (I never park straight; I have more important things to worry about like playing scrabble on my iphone with strangers while driving). In any case he asks me to park straight and I say like a typical Boston driver : "What do you care?". He says "I want to park there". In my defense, I was within the lines just not straight. Anywho, I park straight and continue looking for my phone. I decide to call it thinking it dropped in my car. A guy answers the phone. I say "oh I must have the wrong number". He says "did you just lose your phone?". I look over and its the guy from the van on my phone. He gets out of his car and gives me the phone and says "I know how it feels I lose my phone all the time, happy thanksgiving" and gives me my phone back. How much of an asshole am I?

New airport security measures run into turbulence - The Boston Globe

New airport security measures run into turbulence - The Boston Globe

I don't really understand all the noise over this. First of all, if you're going to get into a giant metal tube going thousands of miles an hour with people who haven't been searched then you're probably one step shy of crazy. But freedom of speech and all that notwithstanding, doesn't everyone appreciate a good grope every now and again? I know I do. Well now that i Think of it most of the gropes I have received at airports are from less than desirable gropers but someday i will be the lucky gropee of a young hot security guard just getting his start at Logan security. Yes I travel enough that it might happen.

Stingey

I asked my son who I gave life to for some fries and this is what I got!!

Mistaken identity

Hmm I wasn't even drinking but at the time I thought this was diego and dora. I was corrected by Ava who told me they are Baby Einstein People. I was going to tell them their costumes sucked. Good thing I didn't. I do vaguely remember asking the girl about her Fiesta de Quincanera.

Behold my new boots.

I somehow found the time to search for them while holding Megan's hair back as she threw up and as i was trying to recover my beloved lost computer files which were ironically deleted in the process of a backup. I don't understand how people have time to shop.

Name that superhero

I don't know who this superhero is but I sure do like his color scheme and those tights are super cool.

The ugly stepsisters are not mean

One of the highlights of Disney was seeing the ugly stepsisters. When Maddy first saw them she was afraid of them and told them they were mean! One of the sisters said "If I were you I'd be more afraid of a 6ft MOUSE. She had a point.