Goodbye little buggies

God I hate fruit flies. I can sit in my house and slap away at them all day. This works!! I did it lastnight and I hate them so much that I had to take a picture of the dead little f'ers. Click on the title for the "recipe". Insert evil laugh.

I am a 45 year old pubescent

Most people discover their makeup obsession at 14. Mine happened at 44. I could spend 9 hours a day on this site; stopping and rewinding. Its really too bad I don't go anywhere to where all this makeup. Not to be like Madonna but these chicks make me want to go all brittish.

I had an awesome day at the ER

I was just thinking as I was running today that I have way too much to do..in fact I was actually running faster than normal (aka turbo turtle speed) because I had so much "important work crap" to do. Queue call from school nurse-who-knows-my-number-by-heart (am I the only one on the planet who wants to ask the nurse whether my frequency of visit is higher than average?). In any case she tells me that Matthew fell at recess and needs stitches.
I suffer from painful indecision as i try to weigh my new resolution not to leave the house without at least showering against my desire to save my injured child. I had to admit when I saw the offending "opening" it looked like I could store some stuff in there Pappillion style. I loaded up enough snacks and reading material to stay at the hospital for a week and we headed on down to the ER. Any time I've had an issue and tried to get into the ER I've had to wait like 9 days. Apparently having a cute little muffin with you helps; he got in right away.

If you've been to the ER you know how annoying it is that they ask you the same question 90 times. Matthew got me some redemption.

Nurse 1: How did you do this?
Matthew: I fell
Nurse 1: Did you hit your head?
Matthew: Does it look like I hit my head?
Nurse 1: No
Matthew: Well why are you asking me then
Nurse 1: I have to ask; nevermind, how much do you weigh?
Matthew: Why does what I weigh have anything to do with my cut?
Nurse 1: oh aren't you cute

Nurse 2: Hi Matthew what happened?
Matthew: didn't you talk to the other lady?
Nurse 2: oh yes but we have to ask alot of questions.
Matthew: whatever, do you want to see my cut?

Admission lady: Hi little buddy how are you
Matthew: ok but i have a cut
Admission lady: oh no do you feel safe at home?
Matthew:  Wow you guys ask alot of wierd questions

Doctor #1: Hi Matthew lets see your boo-boo
Matthew: ok you're the 5th person whose seen my boo boo
Dr: Well I hope I can fix it, we will need stitches
Matt: what are stitches?
Dr: its like sewing your tissue
Matt: there are tissues in there?
Me: (no not the blow your nose tissues)

So anyway, if you're waiting for the punchline, Matt is fine. He had 4 stitches and by the time they put the numbing medication on him he didn't even feel the stitches; he was playing his PSP the whole time while I paced around texting and emailing about my work crisis. Having your child in the hospital takes years off your life. Every minute is like living an extra year. I can feel the wrinkles coming on. At the same time I have a major crisis going on at work and I am on my laptop while waiting for the Dr. I think of that movie Despicable Me.  I am Efficient Despicable Me. She who makes even the Dr wait while I answer a critically assenine questions about a life threatening powerpoint. Now i get to work all night for the snafu of having missed a half a day.