Creepy candles

Halloween preparations start early around here and this year I've reached a new record of August. Im not overwhelmed enough with figuring out what to do with kids every week, prepping for both kids birthdays, 2 work projects in the shithole, obsessive couponing and learning to wear makeup at 44: I must prepare for halloween and do a detox diet also. My new years resolution is going to be complacency. In any case: Megan's birthday was Friday and the boys were at the red sox game; I tried to convince her to go to the mall so I could get a Sephora fix but she wanted to go home and CRAFT. The girl never stops; the more we do the more she hounds me. By this time we had already made 4 batches of brownies and a birthday cake for Matthew; have I mentioned that I CANNOT WAIT FOR SCHOOL TO START?

Supplies you will need:
Masking tape
Toilet paper or paper towel rolls
Glue gun and glue
Battery operated candle lights
Black acrylic paint
Little tiny rocks

Tape the rock to the bottom of the paper towel holder; Megan did this by putting a rock on the masking tape, sticky side up and then putting the paper towel roll over it and sealing tape on the sides. Put a few more pieces of tape on it to hold in place. The rock helps the candle from falling over.

On the top side of the paper towel holder, put the candle on the top of a piece of masking tape, sticky side down and insert it into the top of the tube.  Do this a few times until the candle has a steady base to sit on.

Take the candle out and heat up your glue gun (what you don't have a glue gun?) , dripping glue all the way down the side of the tube. Repeat this process until the tube is covered. This is not a job for the kiddos but Megan had fun watching. Actually as I recall she said "is this supposed to be fun?". She's just like her mother, she likes to start things, not finish them.


Keep going until it looks like this.

Once this part is done and dried you can paint. I am painting mine black.

These will be part of the spookiness but we won't show the final product until Halloween.  Camera doesn't do them justice by themselves but we will make them part of the horror. 

Barf-o-Rama ALERT: Men who wear scarves

Is it just me or do men who wear scarves make you want to hurl? There are certainly metrosexual men who are attractive but this is taking it TOO FAR!! Marc Anthony just looks like a dickhead if you ask me so I guess he's kind of any easy target. And that idiot married to Tori spelling? What is that a scarf snuggie? Double scarf? This is just awful.

Give me a sports obsessed, leathery hands guy any day of the week over this! men who spend too much time on their appearance? No thanks.

Some people like shoes, I love office supplies AND shoes

I have an obsession with all types of office supplies so I LOVE to back to school shop. I also love gadgets (why heLLOOOOO staples!!). Have you been to one of these meccas lately? Have you seen the cute flowery folders and patterned notebooks? DIOS MIO!!! OH LALA!! If I wasn't contractually prohibited I would get a second job there so I could see the very latest and get a discount!

The only thing I remember from grade school is when we moved to a new school in kindergarten in the middle of the year and I was issued a brand new pack of crayons (this was when your tax money actually covered the cost of the crayons..imagine that?).  Anyway this was the one and only time I had the world by the balls because my crayons were new and no one else's were.  I was the envy of the town.  One my office supply edge wore off I blended into averageness.

In any case, it was hard for me not to buy anything myself at this most holy place but I did refrain.  I will have to happy with my kids' stash for now.

In all seriousness there are some good deals at Staples this week and if you sign up for their flyer through email you get 25% of your purchase in rewards.

PS Why does a 2nd grader need 12 (yes more than 10) glue sticks for the year?
PPS when do i get to help my son pimp his locker?

When is dinner ready?

Are you as tired as I am of this question? Kids home from camp and I hear this no less than 15 times per kid. for those of you who are math challenged that's 150 times a week during weeknights - 600 times a month - 7200 times a year!! ENOUGH ALREADY! I was thinking I might given them each $5 a week and charge them a dollar for every time they ask me and if they don't ask they can keep the money.  

Just in case I accidentally have a baby....

I got some free formula in the mail the other day. At first I thought, how great: free stuff! then I thought "shit I don't have a baby!". I figured maybe I was drunken couponing or forgot that I didn't have a baby when ordering some free formula.

I brought the package into the house with guilt wondering how I would explain to my husband how I had acquired this much hated liquid. I considered that maybe my couponing had gotten out of control but then realized that the package was delivered to the wrong address and promptly delivered it to the poor sucker nice mother who needs it.   

I'm going to write the book called leave me the f alone which is about the 6 am harassment following the all night go the f to sleep

Lunch

Mom can i have a ham sandwich? Oh I mean some bread.

the new free swiffer duster I ordered is in. Im sure my cleaning lady will appreciate my thriftiness.

Nice to ge free stuff so I can afford my lexus and cleaning lady.

the dog crapped on my deck and other ponderances

I've taken care of enough humans and their crap (kids, seniors, douchebags) and now I'm dealing with a geriatric dog who like to crap in random spots. I wish he would crap in the neighbors yard sometimes. Sigh. I will pretend I didn't see this and hope my husband picks it up. Or maybe it will rain and wash it away.....


I would like to thank Pippa Middleton for bringing brunette back. I am even going to wear a preppy dress tomorrow in honor of Pippa.

 

Re: unfriendly people. When I go running and I happen to see someone out in their yard or running by me I like at least acknowledge their presence. I mean we're all cohabitants of the planet right? I never did this when I lived in the city: you'd be saying hi to people you run by every 5 seconds and I would run out of breath. But here..I'm on these side roads with nothing but roadkill. It seems civilized to say hi. And those of you who know me know I'm not even that nice! BUT NO lately every time I go running and I say hi to someone they ignore me. I consider this a personal challenge: its like a Seinfeld episode: if you ignore me I will make it my mission in life to get you to acknowledge me. I put myself out there for humankind: you must acknowledge!! Today this happened. I said hi to this lady, she ignored me. I said it louder, she ignored me. Then finally she smirked at me. Ah success. Mind you don't try to talk to me. I'm busy running for christ sake.     

Coupon craziness

To add to my insanity I have a few more admissions. You can call me insane: I don't really care. At least I'm not Dead or watching reality TV.

- Megan and I went to price chopper last week and we had a goal to save $100. Now I'm not one of those people yet who actually calculate what I am going to save at the store in advance but this was a goal Megan set out and I was happy she was not bothering me having fun so I went with it*. We did very well and I think we saved $88 and paid $120. When we left the store it was pitch black and windy; storm was here. I went to put the groceries in the car and my receipt and credit card flew out of my hand and went flying across the parking lot. I had not even had a chance to look at my receipt and pat myself on the back for my hard work! Initially I was concerned about getting in and out of Matts' school before the torrential rain started but there was a crisis at hand!! I ran around the Price chopper parking lot chasing after scraps of paper for 20 minutes. Despondent as I observed papers flying across a major intersection I almost gave up hope but I spotted a peice of paper near the road, picked it up and it was mine!! BEHOLD the receipt that documents my 39% savings!!! I was exalted. Yet sadly i did not find my credit card (not that I was looking). I had to cancel that.

- The very next day I went to Rite Aid armed with my wellness card and list of savings. When the cashier told me how much it was I was a little shocked but ran the credit card through. When I looked at the receipt I noticed that she didn't give me my UP reward (cash for future purchase) for something. I mentioned it to her, she got the manager, BLAH BLAH. I was aggravated at myself that I was wasting my time for $3 but what is the point of doing the coupon thing if you're not going to check? So I get the 12 year old manager to give me a credit and I am on my way. When I get home I am congratulating myself at all the coach bags I will be able to buy with my Rite aid savings and I realize that they made 3 more mistakes. Back in the car I go back to rite aid where the 12 year old pimply manager cringes when he sees me. I try to give him the most endearing "I know I look like an old housewife but I swear I once was cool look" and he fixes my bill while I apologize all over myself for "being a pain".  Then I got in my Lexus and I drove home.

- My kids are now pissed that I won't buy any of their crappy food without a coupon. They love Jimmy Dean crap and I tell them I won't buy it unless they have a coupon so now they are looking for coupons with me. Double bonus.

- When I go running in my neighborhood on Thursdays I have to meditate to keep from stopping at every recycling bin looking for coupons. I don't do anything half way. 

- These were my sunday purchases. Do not tell me you are not jealous LOL. All this was $4.00 at Walgreens

All this was $30 AND I got a $10 gas card at CVS.
At this point I think I have saved enough money that I have justified:
        * a new camera lens
        * a picture for over my mantel (bought with a coupon!)
        



* My husband got me an I Pad so as soon as I get that baby I will likely be fully anti-socialized into communicating exclusively through digital means. I see no reason to leave my house except to avoid paying shipping charges or to go to the beach.

Demented crafts

Megan and Mercedes did this craft together today. Isn't it demented fabulous! It's a little of everything from the craft drawer including letter sponges, clothespins and jingle bells. I think I will be dismantling   saving this for a very long time. I think the intent was for the whole thing to spell HOME. I like to think about them in different orders: ME HO, HO ME. I never said I was normal.

Big daddy's turning 40!

My husband's gettin old. I didn't know what to do for his birthday so I thought I would do a throwback type project. I wasn't going to give it to him until his actual birthday but I am like a 2 years old when it comes to surprises. Its awful.



I love to do stuff like this.

Fix my mantel

I cannot stand my mantel "situation". I don't know what I don't like but its just bad. Is it the curtains? Picture? Crap on the mantel? LACK of crap on mantel?

Here's the pier 1 pic, I would put it on there vertically. It looks a little pink in the picture 

Cruella de ville?

Just sayin

Breakfast burritos

At 44 I thought I had discovered all my personalities; the crafty one having come out when the kids were born. the newest lady to make an appearance round these parts is June Cleaver. I would rather sit around the house blogging, cooking and coupining than going out. I saw this recipe on this blog
 http://moneysavingmom.com/tag/freezer-cooking

My kids like everything Jimmy Dean; egg sandwiches etc. and they also love tacos so I figured i would try this because "what do you want for breakfast" is a constant struggle here. I made half the recipe this time to make sure the kids like them. My son LOVES and my daugher is not convinced  yet.

Ingredients:
1/2 cup milk
1/3 cup green peppers
1/3 cup onion
18 eggs
l cup chopped ham
20 flour tortillas
1/2 cup butter
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese

Beat eggs, milk and salt and pepper

Saute onions and pepper in butter until they are soft

Add eggs to pan and once they are formed shut off heat, add cheese and fold in until melted

Scoop half a cup of egg mixture onto each tortilla and fold ends in before rolling.

Wrap each burrito in a paper towel and then aluminum foil. 



Put these in a freezer bag and remove all air before putting in freezer. To serve take off aluminum foil and put in microwave for a minute. 

Italian wedding soup

I have to finish this and put pics in but here goes for now...

1 quart chicken broth

Carrots (I use canned if I don't have real carrots)  

2 stalks celery chopped

2 Tbsps Tomato sauce

1 head of escarole

1 cup Orzo

Italian meatballs

When you make the meatballs I make them about this size.

Put chicken broth in the pan and bring to a boil.  Meanwhile cut up celery and carrots and put into broth.  Put meatballs into boiling broth and let it cook for 15-20 minutes.

Boil water for pasta and cook al dente. 

Drain pasta and save 1 cup of the pasta water.

Meanwhile cut up escarole into small pieces and rinse well. M

ake sure you cut into bite size pieces but not so small they will turn to mush.  

Put this into the broth and let simmer for 6-7 minutes.
Serve with parmesan cheese. I am going to make a batch of this soon and freeze in individual containers so I can have just one serving when I want.

Making dinner and other random thoughts

I love when a recipe tells you that it will take 20 minutes to make. Making dinner for me would be a lot faster was I not also helping kids with homework, feeding the dog, answering the phone/email/door, rifling through the pound of paper my kids bring home every day, filling dishwasher, facebooking and answering the kids when they ask me 90,000 times if they can have a snack and/or when dinner will be ready. 20 minutes my AS&.

Do you think its ok that I still have a spice from the last house I lived in which was before Matthew was born?

I don't understand these people on Extreme Couponing. Do they buy anything perishable? I mean its great that those croutons were free but who needs 100 bags of croutons?

When I was sick last week I went outside with my sunglasses on and I thought to myself DAMN its bright out here!! I went back inside and Megan said to me "Mommy your sunglasses are broken!". The I realized that both lenses had fallen out of the frame. 

My thoughts and prayers are with the families of the 2 little dead chipmunks, 1 racoon and 1 very flat snake I saw on my run today. Look both ways little  rodents!

Sam is pumped for the long weekend!

Photos - Kingston Rossdale: Hollywood's Trendiest Tot - December 20, 2008 - UsMagazine.com

I'm sorry: I do not see what is cute about this kid. In a line up I would say my friends' kis make this kid look homely. I know no one wants to know their little kitten isn't cute but if the shoe fits...
Photos - Kingston Rossdale: Hollywood's Trendiest Tot - December 20, 2008 - UsMagazine.com

I'm sorry I missed your stupid conference call, I was having an exorcism

Ok so its all about sickness and coupons over here, 24/7.  Today I was supposed to go to Raleigh but had to cancel because felt like dogshit again when I woke up. I went to a conference all this am and announced to everyone on it like 90 times that I was sick. For you psych 101 not takers this is called displacement: I am mad that I even HAVE TO BE ON THIS CONFERENCE CALL so I take it out on them by telling them of my sickness 90 times. Anyway I HAD to take a nap after that I just couldn't function. While I was sleeping I dreamt of burning things; all kinds of things that were held up for burning in my minds eye. I don't remember what they were but lets come up with a fantasy list shall we:
1. Parking tickets
2. Kid Camp paperwork
3. Kobe Bryant
4. Animal haters
5. Every people magazine with a teen preggo on the cover

I may have to add to this later :)

I woke up 3 hours later having missed:
1) 3 conference calls
2) 57 emails and
3) 17 notices about new coupons or free stuff

But I feel much better, fever seems to be gone, sore throat is MUCH better and I think I'm back in business! 
   

Could you pass the germs please?

Everyone's been sick around the Scearbo house except the dog. Strep, virus, ear infections, you name it.

When the first kid gets sick you have this confidence; you think to yourself "what with my new pack of lysol wipes and obsessive handwashing, this will be the end of it!". Off to the Dr. you go, $30 and 4 hours later, you're back from CVS and its smooth and quiet video game playing from there for the sicko; (the whining usually goes down a couple hours after the CVS visit).

Order is restored and then the next one goes down. I swear the school nurse has me on speed-dial. You know she's calling because she's one of only a few people who call my home phone (which I ignore while I'm working), then my work number, then my cell.  Its as if she's saying yup its me, come and get 'em - you can't hide!  Back to the Dr and to CVS - KA-CHING! $30. Oh and I always forget to call the after school program that my kids are going to be out. $5 penalty KA-CHING!

I had a coupon episode

I don't know how I get these things into my head. One day I'm obliviously  paying full price for everything and can't be bothered and the next second i was in a full fledged couping episode, emailing my niece at all hours about how  she does it - asking her excruciatingly detailed questions; where do you store them, where do you get them? How do you fold them? (I require instruction at even the most basic tasks at home; at work I am much more competent I assure you.). Its like I leave my common sense at the door when I come home. The other day I went running and saw a snake; I literally jumped INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC to avoid the snake. My instincts need adjustment.

Matthew's FDR Presentation

Matthew had to give a presentation about FDR last week and he was very excited to have us come watch him. To prepare for the event he had to dress like FDR. I had so many inappropriate ideas and no decent ones, so I just sent him to school with fake glasses and a dress shirt. I have a lot of insecurity about the kids and school; I always feel I'm not doing things right.

Better to be lame than inappropriate (in the 3rd grade at least). When giving his presentation someone asked what was FDR famous for? Matthew said "for his leadership". It was I could do not to say "And his mistress!" or "the fact that his wife was smarter than him!" or "The New Deal that will have your grandchildren paying for your retirement!". But I said none of those things.
Best not to pollute the little creatures at this point.

Cool graphics

I found this site that scrambles and designs word collages. Isn't it cool?
 http://www.wordle.net/

Saving money with your iPhone

I hate paper. I recently started clipping coupons. I want an IPad and the only way I can with any conscience buy one is if I save enough money to buy it because, seriously, what the hell do I need an IPad for? Anyway, I digress. I have been spending way too much time clipping these foolish coupons and forgetting to bring them to the store. By using these app I select the coupons I want to use and when I buy that product I automatically get my paypal account credited with the savings. All I have to do is use my reward care for the store which is linked to this service. I love this!!
 https://savingstar.com/

Italian "gravy"

Another recipe from my in laws which I had to observe about 100 times before I got it down since those damn italians don't write any recipes down. I make this once a week and it freezes very well.

Magic potions

There are so many things that a chick needs. You may look at this list and say, shit that's a lot of money; but I say hey its cheaper than plastic surgery. You might think, wow with all this stuff I'm surprised you don't look like a supermodel. Hey, imagine what I would look like without it? The main problem is that when i travel I need a small person to carry all this stuff for me. Its expensive being me. I miss all my products when I am gone. I despise all those magazine with celebrities telling you the stuff they use. It never works; they are just getting paid to say it does. Speaking of getting paid, when you click on any of these links you will be taken to amazon where you can buy this stuff and I get a cut. Now don't get me wrong, you pay the same price and I'm pretty sure I'll still me schlepping my ass to work every day. Mainly I just think its super cool that you can do this and I had to teach myself how.  

Remember that disgusting buff puff from the 80's? The one that had all the bacteria in it and you thought you were doing yourself good my scrapping the shit out of your skin? Well this is the modern version but its AWESOME. I was not blessed with small pores. You could store stuff in my pores. Ps I don't get why large pores get clogged easier; this is counterintuitive. But anyway, I digress.



This stuff is like Drano for the pores. Smells a little funky but works awesome.





This has 30 spf and vitamin c. Awesome.






This stuff is the best. not cheap but i swear to god I bought a bottle of this like 2 years ago and it still works. Its so wierd!



I feel so lucky to have been born in a generation that invented a magic potion to cure acne AND wrinkles in one bottle. On the other hand; what a cruel twist of fate to be 40 something and still dealing with acne. In any case, if you have a breakout, put a little of this on it and it will be GONE. Love this stuff and it will last you forever.



When you are living in the tundra and your skin looks like this

you need this.  I know its pricey but soo worth it.

Italian style meatballs

My mother in law taught me how to make these. Let me say they are nothing like MY mother used to make (my mother's version had ketchup and onions - YUCK!). There is nothing like learning how to make meatballs italian style. My Mother in law and father in law never measured anything. I watched them make these about 10 times with my MIL telling me to add ingredients until it FEELS and SMELLS right.  Are you kidding me? As if raw meat of any kind feels good.

1 egg beaten in small bowl
1 cup parmesan cheese
3 Tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons italian seasoning
1 cup italian seasoned bread crumbs (if you make without these you need to put more italian seasoning in)
1 pound 80 ground chuck (they are much better when you buy this vs the 90% lean kind. I know, fattening. It is what it is)
3 cloves fresh garlic
Salt and pepper to taste

Put all ingredients in a bowl and mix with your hands.

Depending on what I am making I make the meatballs different sizes. These are for regular sauce and meatballs.

If I make meatballs for sauce I put canola oil in a frying pan at medium high and wait for the oil to get hot before I put the garlic in.


Put the meatballs in just long enough to brown on the outside.

MMMM MEAT. 
Put in the sauce to cook the rest of the way.

Megan and I are carrying on the meatball making tradition; here's her version.

Restaurant Teriyaki Sauce

I got home from a work trip and hubs wanted teryaki steak tips but didn't have any sauce. He said he would go to the store but I responded smartly, there's no time for that! So I proceeded to spend 20 minutes making my own. I find it baffling that I have 90 different kinds of condiments and sauces in the fridge but no teryaki sauce but I digress. This was so awesome I had to share.

1/4 cup soy sauce
1 cup water
1/2 tsp ground ginger (I had real ginger which I cut up and threw in; about 1 TBSB) 
1/4 tsp garlic powder
5 tablespoons brown sugar
2 tablespoons honey
2 tablespoons cornstarch

Recipe was more complicated but I just threw it all in a saucepan and boiled for about 10 minutes and put on the steak. Didn't even marinate.

From food.com

Are these the same people