Matthew's FDR Presentation

Matthew had to give a presentation about FDR last week and he was very excited to have us come watch him. To prepare for the event he had to dress like FDR. I had so many inappropriate ideas and no decent ones, so I just sent him to school with fake glasses and a dress shirt. I have a lot of insecurity about the kids and school; I always feel I'm not doing things right.

Better to be lame than inappropriate (in the 3rd grade at least). When giving his presentation someone asked what was FDR famous for? Matthew said "for his leadership". It was I could do not to say "And his mistress!" or "the fact that his wife was smarter than him!" or "The New Deal that will have your grandchildren paying for your retirement!". But I said none of those things.
Best not to pollute the little creatures at this point.

Read this before you have kids

This is one of those days you should read about before you get a dog or have kids. For many of you it will too late. It reminds me of that email that says :"If you want to have kids, carry a 20 pound bag around the house at 3 am for 3 hours then try getting up for work".

My day started at 3 am with the dog crying in pain and looking at me trying to tell me something I couldn't understand. I tried to get him down the stairs to go outside but he just looked at me; unable to move he was in so much pain. I was up for 3 hours trying to get him to either lay down or come downstairs. I finally gave him a doggie pain killer and he went to sleep. I fear this is the beginning of the end for my 12 year old baby and it breaks my heart. I am probably being dramatic...

Just as I was planning on calling the vet I get a call that Matthew has been suspended from school for the day for telling his friend he "would kill her". They take these things very seriously now and he was sent to the principal's office. When I went to pick him up he was so upset; hyperventilating and apologizing. I feel like a psycho because I went in there ready to beat him to a pulp and when I saw him it broke my heart; I wanted to yell at the school for being too strict. BUT if I were the parent of the other kid I would want them to enforce consequencces and ultimately I am glad they are teaching him a lesson. I never knew it would be this hard. Part of me says he's just a kid and part of me says holy crap is this how all the delinquents get their start? I know he has a good heart so I will err on his side and hope they don't call me as a witness at his trial in 5 years and use this blog as evidence of my leniency.

As if it could get worse I get an email from Megan's teacher saying she tried to pay for her $2.75 lunch with a $100 bill. Where does a 6 year old get a hundred dollar bill you ask? I have no fucking idea. I can assure you that I haven't seen a hundred bill in quite some time and as far as I know she has no job. Its a mystery. I am sure they are laughing at the school right now at our expense "ya what's going on with the Scearbos, they must be crack dealers sending their kids to school with $100 bills and their son acting like a Sopranos character".

And to think i was going to stay away from wine tonight.