Marathon training

Awesome 5 mile run yesterday.  This is not impressive unless you consider that I haven’t run at all since the marathon. This is my second official training run – adding a mile every week until I hit the 20 something mark. This year I NEEDED A BREAK; my hamstring was killing me and I was just plain sick of running.

I thought long and hard about whether I was going to do the Marathon again after last year; if I’m honest I will say that I’m still on the fence even after I’ve paid my registration fees, agreed to raise more money for the Liver Foundation and started training.  I really don’t want to dedicate the kind of time it requires, I hate running in the snow and my family doesn’t want me to do it given the worry of last year. I don’t want to spend every week trying to figure out how I will fit a 3 hours run in amongst kids’ activities and LIFE.  In the end I decided to do it because I knew I would crawl out of my skin watching it and not being a part of it and I want to teach my kids that when you set a goal you stick to it – period. Or maybe it’s as simple as I want to cross the finish line and feel that the medal I got last year is real. The fact that I can eat an entire pizza and not feel guilty after I finish is a bonus.

Yesterday as I was running I thought of how amazing it is to have a goal. I didn’t realize that a difference it would make. I used to run 3 or 4 miles and quit because I was tired or because that’s just what I planned. The truth is that when I have a goal to run 5, 6, 7 or whatever I feel the same at mile 4 as I would have if I quit then and there. It’s just that I know I have to run more, so I do. Just put one foot in front of the other – it’s that simple. It’s been a great confidence builder for other areas of my life when I tend to get overwhelmed.   

This year I have some changes to the plan I would like to make

1. Run as little as possible. That’s right: I said it. I like boot camp and I want to do that more than run.   I started going to a boot camp in the spring and I have been very impressed by the results (meaning I look less porky than I did when running only). When I started I saw a bunch of suburban mothers and I thought: “I just ran a marathon I can do this!” How embarrassing to discover that I couldn’t do more than one man push up.  It’s like I’m the Pillsbury dough boy from the waist up. Last year in retrospect I was out of balance; over conditioning my legs and not enough focus on the core. No wonder I ended up with a hamstring injury that plagued me all year. I read an article about cardio that made a lot of sense to me; especially when you consider I didn’t lose an ounce during marathon training. Don’t get me wrong I DO love to run. I love the freedom of it – that I can just put my shoes on and go; no driving to class and having to see other people or wait for class to start. I love to be outside and I love to listen to my music and be alone in my thoughts. But everything this article makes sense to me and was proven in my training vs. just a few months of bootcamp.   http://athlete.io/5343/why-women-should-not-run/
2. Drink more water. God how I hate drinking water. I would prefer to up my quota of wine which is probably not even possible.  I now track how much water I drink and often will take a half gallon and chug as I count to 20. I read somewhere that you should drink half your body weight every day. I wasn’t near that and my boot camp lady says if you work out you should drink even more. When I’m being good I feel like my organs are drowning in water but overall I do feel better.  And at least now I’m drinking more water than wine and that can’t be bad.
3. Stretching. I started going to physical therapy this summer after the hamstring injury decided to stay around. What an amazing difference it has made. They have taught me areas where I’m weak and what stretches and exercises to overcome. But best of all I get my ass upper hamstring rubbed once a week. Fucking heaven. It’s so easy not to do the stretching; when you get into hard core training and running for 3-4 hours on a Saturday it’s all you can do to make dinner never mind stretching for a half hour. My husband is now used to me sitting in front to the TV contorting myself into a pretzel while he watches the tube.            
4. Speed work. Every time I increased my mileage last year I got a little slower. This was partly due to the fact that I was becoming more and more injured but also because I didn’t follow any of the recommended training programs on doing fartleks (speed work). The turtle doesn’t like speed work but I am going to try it this year.  Really I am….soon.

I’m just as scared of running the marathon this year as I was last year but I’m gonna try and take it one week at a time. If I didn’t I might change my mind. The hardest part of all of it is being consistent. When I’m good I’m really good. When I’m bad I’m really bad and these things tend to cancel each other out. I try to push myself but I try to give myself a break too. My body feels the pain of my indecision. But for now the goals above are all I’m committing to.

I “almost” did it

Like many runners, having trained and sacrificed so much I was looking forward to last Monday – to seeing my family at the finish after the culmination of 6 months of work. Here I find myself having “almost completed” the mileage, legs done but my mind still running - stuck on the course like a skipping record; the needle going back over it again and again.  In the last week we have all experienced every feeling imaginable; a whirlwind of physical and emotional turmoil. My friend and fellow runner Paul Joseph posted on Facebook the night of the Marathon, about how he spent the entire day being grateful; grateful for the health to run, for the love and support of family, the opportunity to support a great cause and grateful to have missed the explosions.   

This is how I WANT to feel – but I don’t. I'm PISSED. As a runner, as a person, as a parent – everything. Angry that I missed the best part, the last mile, the turn onto Hereford! Angry that my friends and family sacrificed to be there, angry that someone could do this in our city and hurt so many people. And I’m sad that I can't be more grateful than angry.  

In the end it seems that I will have to use the toughness I learned in training for this race to turn the corner, focusing on the good things; gratitude that my friends and family are safe and for the hundreds of texts, voicemail and emails later from so many friends and family, many of whom donated money and sacrificed to help me accomplish this goal.  Maybe turning anger into gratitude is “the last mile of the marathon” for me, what seems like a bigger challenge than completing the last mile of the race would have been.  

Last fall I decided to run the Boston Marathon with my friend Jacqui.  I thought I could lose some weight, support a friend and, let’s be honest, who doesn’t dream about running THE BOSTON MARATHON?  If you have been to the race just the thought of being on the other side as a runner will give you chills.  But you don’t just “DECIDE” to run the Boston Marathon - you have to qualify by running for a charity and raising at least $4,000 or running a less than 9 minute mile in another marathon and entering a lottery.  I chose raising money for the American Liver Foundation. Like many big goals you set for yourself; you know it’s going to be a lot of work.  And there are several large fees, the $300 Boston Athletic Organization fee being one of them.  There is a reason a marathon is a huge accomplishment; it’s the biggest physical and mental challenge I have ever been through.

I started training last Thanksgiving, running a mile more each week until by the end of the year I was up to 10 miles for my long run. This wasn’t that hard but at the start of the year the weather turned all, um “NEW ENGLANDY” and running was taking more and more time. Every week I mapped out a plan to run my long run on a certain day and every week there was a snow storm. I tried to run on the treadmill. Have you ever run 13 miles on a treadmill? DON’T.  I ran most of my runs in the middle of the street, carefully watching the eyeballs of oncoming traffic one car at a time to make sure I wasn’t going to get run over (if you want to have 18 miles go by faster;  try this; keeping yourself alive is very distracting). I ran in wind so bad I had to run in circles back and forth to keep from getting knocked over.  Week by week, storm by storm, month by month I got the mileage in – and I tried NOT to think about the fact that I would have to do it again the next week only LONGER.  I spent the days after the long run hobbling around exhausted and the weeks leading up to the next long run scared shitless saying to myself how the hell can I run LONGER than that?   

Sometime in the winter my running pal Jacqui got injured. I obsessed: HOW would I do this alone? I don’t WANT TO DO THIS ALONE!  But I had committed and some generous people had already donated and I couldn’t let them down.  When the runs got longer I tortured my experienced friends with questions (is it ok that I skipped my long run because I had the stomach bug or should I have run through it? What kind of socks do you wear? How do I get to the race? What if I have to PEEEE?).  By the time I got up to the longest training run I was at 21 miles and my weekends were fully consumed.  People will say running this distance is a grueling physical challenge and it is.  But for me the challenge was mental; overcoming my mind willing me to procrastinate, take a short cut or give up. I can’t do this I’m too old, I can’t do this I’m too busy, etc.  The further you go the more confidence you build up and the lesson learned in the process is that you can do ANYTHING. What happened later at the race can never take that away from me.  

I went to my first American Liver Foundation practice run in March by myself. I am not a shy person so I don’t know why this was scary for me but it was. I instantly made friends with a fellow teammate Kim, who entertained me during my whole practice run and we fell into an easy friendship, sharing war stories and nervously preparing for the race by texting and obsessing over every detail; what shoes are you wearing, what are you eating the day before the race?? I met some patients and their families who had been helped by the Foundation and started to feel more personal about the cause.  

American Liver Foundation practice run in Hopkinton

Despite this I struggled with the fundraising; constantly posting and emailing. When people donated I was excited but nervous; could they afford it? Would I disappoint them by getting injured or not finishing? Did my friends hate me for harassing them? As you can see my VIRGO-NESS runs my life (this is but a small glimpse into how much I think; it’s fucking exhausting I tell you).    Thanks to the generosity of friends and family I hit the fundraising goal and my focus turned to full on obsession about anything and everything BUT the actual running; how would my family get there, what would I bring in my bag, what would the weather be, should I take the bus with my team or drive to Hopkinton, etc, etc..  When my runners passport came I knew it was real.

If you’ve ever lived in Boston or visited during the Marathon you know that the race is a weekend affair with people from all over the world descending on the city. There’s an electricity and energy I have seldom felt in life and as a runner it was even better.   The day before the race I went to the Liver Foundation brunch with my daughter and Jacqui where we heard amazing stories; one from a nurse who had contracted Hepatitis C from a medical incident and was alive due to the untimely death and generosity of an 18 year old boy from Turks and Caicos.  It was a great way for Megan to see why I sacrificed so many weekends and it made me very excited for her to see me at the finish line. I reasoned that this lesson was more important than all the time I had spent running; my husband taking the brunt of taking care of their needs.


Me, Julie, Jacqui and Megan 

Picking up my number for THE BOSTON MARATHON at the Hynes convention center was so exciting.  Finally - the part of the process I was waiting for!!  The night before the race I stayed overnight at the Westin with my teammates and in the morning we took the bus out to Hopkinton. We laughed because we thought the ride was long – laughing harder when we remembered we had to run the whole way back. 
Arriving at Athletes Village makes you feel like you are in the Olympics! For over 2 hours we anxiously awaited the start along with thousands of runners. The energy there is like nothing you will ever experience. 


Relaxing before our WAVE

 

Tia, Kim and me outside high school near the start

Me, Tia and Kim on the bus to Hopkinton

The thing they don’t tell you is that in order to start the Marathon you have to WALK to the start from the high school for OVER A MILE! My walk was made more exciting when I saw Tedy Bruschi, representing his team. I resisted the urge to get a picture with him (dammit).   As we started there were so many people you could barely see the sidelines. Nothing can capture the feeling of running with this many people cheering you on; my mind was on fire between my internal voices yelling:

• Please stop doing this it hurts, how many more miles? What’s 26.2 minus 3.7? I can’t run another step. Why the fuck am I doing this? Are there any Americans who go to BC?  When should I eat this disgusting GU crap? Do I have to pee? I wonder how many calories I’m burning. Did I leave the leash out for the dog walker?  

and what you are seeing

• How awesome are these volunteers? Everyone is so nice! Look at those old ladies on their lawn drinking Miller Lites at 11 am! Check out this 90 pound chick bouncing by me! Wow, there’s an 80 year old woman in front of me I feel like a FAT ASS LOSER! Good for her!  I hope I live as long as her to run this, no I don’t!   WOW there’s a lot of cops here. How cute are the little kids handing out oranges!  

I started out running with my friends but ended up running by myself, taking my time because I didn’t want to get injured or not finish. I stopped for water, clothing malfunctions and to chat/pose for a picture or two with family and friends who came to see me.  For the first 8 or so miles I knew I would see my crew at the end of that leg and I was excited. After that I fell into a slump knowing that I had at least another 8 miles to go until I saw them.  But knowing my friends and family they were tracking me on BAA and waiting for me propelled me forward.  It’s hard to imagine that you can have a good time while running but I did – one guy high fived me so hard I almost fell over.

Me in Natick

My first trouble was knee pain in Natick. I had never experienced this so I was very nervous I wouldn’t finish.  BUT, running has taught me a lot about toughness; there were many times training when I was sure I wouldn’t make it – pain, wardrobe malfunctions, inadequate preparation, laziness, minor injuries, work interferences, the list is endless. My mental training taught me to distract myself and just put one foot in front of the other no matter what.   I tried to focus on the posture techniques that I was learning. 

There are a lot of things that happen in the race that you can’t prepare for – one of mine was another runner who thought it would be fun to run while dribbling a basketball, THE ENTIRE WAY. She was a fan favorite but I cursed her. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to listen to a bouncing basketball for 5 hours? She stalked me, going slower when I slowed and speeding up when I kicked it into gear. She was like the paperboy in better off dead always there, always yelling: “2 dollars, 2 dollars!!”. 

I was really struggling but when I hit Wellesley College I got the lift I needed. It’s a well- known high point of the race and it didn’t disappoint – I had the best time high fiving people and reading the signs: “Kiss me I’m fun sized”, “Kiss my I’m graduating!”.  After that my iPod died I tried to focus on how many miles were under my belt rather than how many were left.  I was not running my best mental race but I tried to focus on how much fun it would be to see everyone at the end and have the hugest dinner possible. I distracted myself looking at all the people and signs (my worst pain at this point was my neck from rubber-necking and trying to watch everything while running). Tried to look at every sign: Hurry up my mascara runs faster than you!”, Run faster Channing Tatum is at the finish line waiting for you! I was so relaxed I even stopped to have my picture taken with one of them

 
I started to zone out and forget what mile I was on, just running and watching the sidelines. I got through Newton and heartbreak hill without a problem.  By the time I got to BC I was crawling at a snails’ pace. As a former Cleveland Circle drunken spectator I was looking forward to the crowds there but instead I was completely annoyed by the drunk girls who jumped into the race, running around like idiots wearing neon clothes and cowboy boots.  Once I got through Cleveland circle I was looking forward to the homestretch; the end was in striking distance. I had been running pretty slowly but I wanted to start speeding it up. 

Leaving Coolidge Corner approaching Kenmore Square I got my first clue something was awry; half the spectators were cheering and the other half were running from the finish.  I noticed runners talking on their phones and I thought WTF is wrong with people that they can’t run a marathon without yapping on the phone?  I complained to a man next to me and he told me there was a bomb at the finish and there were “major casualties”. I stopped to ask a few cops/bystanders/volunteers and they didn’t know any details.  I felt myself panicking as police cars started racing down the street on the same side as the runners.  I ran for 2 miles not knowing if my family and friends were safe; all I could think about was that if they were hurt the whole thing was my fault.  BUT I have always been calm in a crisis – I thought there’s nothing to be gained by freaking out – keep running.  My mind was preparing for the worst case scenario; what If the kids are ok and Dan isn’t, what if my sister and her family are not ok but my family is?

When we approached Kenmore Square the cops announced on the megaphone: GO HOME, WE URGE YOU TO GO HOME!!?”. Running 25 miles makes you confused – but no details were given and the race just sort of dissipated without water, food or blankets. Some people were still cheering; I saw one of the liver survivor/supporters and l will never forget the look on his face; he stood amongst the crowd, calling my name and cheering but he looked totally confused – torn between wanting to run and not wanting to desert his post.  I asked anyone I could find what was going on but there was no internet/cell service; the only updates coming from people who were texting from home as they watched the TV.  I had no way to get in touch with my family so I just sat down in the middle of Kenmore Square, cold and thirsty – no clue what to do.  I tried to ask a few cops what to do it but was chaos. Confused and panicked; I thought how the hell am I going to get home: I have no money, no phone – nothing!  

It’s funny how different people react to stress; a few people were so helpful and understanding; others going into meltdown mode yelling and repeating the same information. Some people were lying in the street crying, some laughing and everything in between.   Trash was flying around and cars were driving on the wrong side of the road because the barriers were half up. A BU security guard gave me water; another guy offered me a blanket. Afeter a while I finally had the mental wherewithal to stop a guy who had finished running and was walking to his hotel. I used his phone to text Dan and tell him I was safe. Dan texted back right away and said that they were safe at the Westin.  It was a huge relief and I resolved to walk to the Westin – only another mile away.

Every direction I went they closed the street. Every street that closed I walked to the right - casing the Westin until I could get to the front of the building.  I felt like a lost toddler wandering around by myself in a foreign land. When I got there they wouldn’t let me in – the building was being evacuated.  I had nowhere to go so I kept walking to the bus where my bag was. That street was closed too and I waited as volunteers carried bag after bag to the street.  The BAA is a class A organization and either they train their volunteers well or they are highly dedicated – maybe both. I was impressed that so many volunteers were manning their posts despite the complete chaos and extreme conditions.

I texted Dan to let him know where I was – knowing I wouldn’t get an answer. Once I got my bag I stopped to get warm and rest at a medical tent on St James.  The tent was empty except for a supply guy whose pants were covered with blood. He tended to my very minor injuries as I watched the news and charged my phone enough to post on Facebook that I was ok. Exchanging stories with other runners I told a guy that I was mad I didn’t finish and my kids were in danger because I was slow.  He told me that if I wasn’t slow my kids and/or I might be dead.  They wanted the runners to go to the Boston common but there was no way I could walk another mile.  When they turned the heat off in the tent I was on the move again; I asked a cop directing traffic if the Westin was open and if they would let me walk there.  He was nice enough to have someone drive me; by this time I could barely walk.  

When I met up with Dan I discovered that he immediately had the good sense to put the kids and family/friends on the commuter train out only minutes after the bomb.  They had checked my progress on line and saw that I was running slower than expected so they took their time at lunch and were walking back to Boylston St at the time of the bomb, only a block away.  Knowing that they were safely out of the city was a huge relief. Later, talking to my sister she described the panic she was in, thinking the train would be bombed on the way out and the kids witnessing all kinds of panic.  

Dan and I were stuck at the Westin for a couple hours where the giant meal I had been looking forward to was not to be had since they ran out of food.  My adrenalin was on overdrive but we weren’t allowed to leave. When the streets opened we finally got to leave - no post team celebration, no sense of closure. It was after 10, running home to see the kids who were waiting up to make sure we were safe.  Although they were stressed out, they seemed to calm down the minute they saw us.  

We were scheduled to leave for a family vacation the next morning and that’s what we did.  I expected to feel sore for the week but the added feelings of helplessness, shock and confusion took a while to dissipate. Watching the kids having fun and seeing them seemingly unaffected by what they saw has helped.  I tried to ignore my mind and body, ignoring the news, going horseback riding and climbing rocks.  Watching the hard work and bravery that we have seen helps cancel out the bad but it’s still so scary to think that two young people could hate so much, or that their close family members would be so oblivious to the hearts and minds of their own children/relatives.  

For now, it’s one day at a time - each day feeling more grateful, getting back to the business of life ad not taking anything for granted. People ask me if I will run another marathon – some saying “you don’t need to, you ran almost the whole thing”, or “don’t let them win by taking away your accomplishment”.  I am still deciding but I do know that I don’t need to do it to prove that I’m strong. I proved that – with or without the medal.  

Behold my sock collection

Yet another half an hour spent on the futile task of sock sorting. The pile gets bigger every week. I am constantly sorting, washing and hoarding new socks - BUT I will still inevitably get someone screaming bloody murder in the morning: "I DONT' HAVE ANY SOCKS!!!!" as if their pants were on fire. Am I the only person in the house qualified for this task??     Every week I sort, turn them right side out, line them up by size/color, ribbed, not ribbed (snort snort). They are all very similar but not quite the same. I have socks in here from 1993.  Wait....I think this would be a better task to complete with a few drinks under my belt.......

 

Pinterest has been both the best and worst thing ever for people like me. I could spent hours browsing figuring out the best way to organize my junk drawer or how to braid my hair (which I have never once done in my entire life) . BUT this is an example of the worst.  

Seriously? Who the fuck has 4 lost socks?

 

Lets get real people. I would need 17 bins, one for each kid and by type of sock (ski socks, white socks, black athletic socks, dress socks, running socks, boot socks.....). When there's a hole in one sock do you throw away its companion? What if there is another single sock from the same collection lurking behind the washing machine waiting for its mate?  Sometimes I throw away a lone sock thinking its match is a goner and then the sneaky sock turns up under the couch and I feel guilty for wasting money. I could do an excel pivot table....

 

Wait...perhaps I am overthinking this...

 

 

Boston Marathon training update

Training has not gone very well this week; between feeling weak after putting the dog down and a rowdy weekend in Raleigh I skipped my long run last week and have been paying for it this week - barely able to complete my normal 3 mile loop. I beat myself up about these things and decided that the pain of running 11 miles was less bad than the pain of torturing myself about it. The actual running part isn't the hardest for me - its my brain telling me to quit or that I can do it another day.

But today I had to end all that. The theme of the day was: "I can't do this but I'm doing it anyway". Now that I have committed to running Boston it's a lot of motivation with so many people having generously signed up for the cause. I don't want to let them or myself down - so I do it.

I'm nervous still about the holidays and vacation plans but trying to take it one week at a time. If you can help, please donate whatever amount you are comfortable with here.

http://go.liverfoundation.org/site/TR/RunforResearch/RunforResearch?px=1786080&pg=personal&fr_id=3260

christmas resolutions

Why wait until after the holidays? I'm making my resolutions now. Seems appropriate since for someone like me can do a lot of damage between now and the end of the year. December is a tough month for me; my obsession with making the holidays festive converges with my laziness and perfectionism to form the perfect storm - an entire month filled with extreme crafting/cooking and shopping - none of which actually gets finished.

PS I don't intend on actually doing any of things.

1. I will use all the craft supplies purchased for holiday projects I never finished.  THERE IS A LOT OF THIS SHIT - you may not see me for the month. At one point I bought 5 pounds of epsom salt to use as fake snow. This doesn't seem very smart.

2. I will not enter Michaels ONCE*!!! I will not buy one more christmas decoration that isn't replacement of a light for as long as I LIVE.

3.  I will buy kids presents, write them all down, including price. I will not panic purchase 16 additional presents in an attempt to make sure that there's "enough" and the money spent is even.

4.  I will meticulously put all my Christmas decorations away with a box for each room. I will label them and scrape the broken ornaments off the melted candy cane coated bottoms.  I will NOT wake up hungover on new years day and throw my grandmothers glass ornaments in the same random rubbermaid containers as my 10 pound stocking hanger.

I only have about 90 other things to put on this list but my other new resolution is to finish something so I am posting this AS IS.    

Week 4 of marathon training

Sometimes I run out of obligation, sometimes I run to keep my ass from looking like Honey Boo Boos mothers' and some days its to keep my mind from exploding out of my head. I haven't run for 2 days and today when I woke up I didn't even dread the fact that I had to run 10 miles because I had about 9000 thoughts to work through and it was going to take a while. I don't know why but I can think so much more clearly when I am running. Maybe its because there's nothing else to do - I am one of those annoying people who would sooner sweep the garage or reorganize a junk drawer when stressed out than sit through the discomfort. If nothing is available to scrub, smoke, drink, reorganize or launder - sleeping works just fine too.  I have this vision of myself when I'm running, I think I look like Linus with my thoughts following me like a dust cloud. 

I do struggle at the beginning of a long run; when my GPS says "1 mile" I spend the whole rest of the mile thinking, "great I have to do that 10 more times!". The first half of the run seems like a math session; "If I run 20 seconds faster for this mile my average goes down by 2 seconds a mile", "If I run 10 miles thats 1000 calories and 2 regular margaritas or 3 skinny, or 2 margaritas and 1 corona light", etc. etc. It's a challenge to quite the mind. Somedays all I can think about is all the shit I have to do when I get home. Those are the worst runs - by the time I get back to my neighborhood I'm sprinting I'm so stressed out.

I'm really liking distance running so far. I am very nervous about getting above the 13 miles mark but trying to take it day by day, week by week. I really like having a goal of the Boston Marathon because I feel a stronger sense of urgency and I'm less likely to procrastinate. I am also struggling with the fact that my shorter runs after the long ones suck ass; its like my blood has been replaced by concrete and I'm dragging ass just to finish 3 miles. I have been taking electrolyte pills during the long runs which seem to help. Or maybe it was that I had 3 dinner rolls lastnight (HORROR: GLUTEN!!!).

Don't forget to donate to cause if you haven't already - I am very excited about the money being raised for such a great cause. 
https://secure3.convio.net/alf/pc2/dashboard.html

Marathon training in progress

I finished my second long run at 7 miles today; I wanted nothing to do with running, my legs hurt and I wasn't in a good place - all I could do was obsess about work stuff and every step I took. But I did it.  Knowing that I'm helping people who are suffering with liver disease and their families is definitely a motivator.  Please try and help if you can!

https://secure3.convio.net/alf/pc2/dashboard.html   

Bakenstein

There's a web site I like called Bakerella: http://www.bakerella.com/.  Its the best site and makes me feel totally inadequate, I couldn't make any of that. This is what I make

No this is not intended to look like a snake and no its not my liver. This was my attempt at making gluten free Spelt flour french bread. Often I will make things that look horrible but taste good. Not so here. It could have been used as a rubber dog toy if only my dog had any teeth left. Actually even if he had teeth he would have probably passed. I threw it out pan and all. It only took me 4 hours and 19 dirty dishes to make, no big deal. I didn't have anything else to do. I almost feel relieved to cross "attempt cooking specialty breads" off my list. CHECK!

The problem with bread is that there's too many steps. The first time I let it rise I let it go oh about 2 hours too long. OOPSIE I had a work crisis. Then I forgot about it again and was falling asleep so I had my husband take it out of the oven. I cannot believe he didn't try some! 

I blame this newfound unachieveable goal on my neice Andrea who makes baking look easy and bread look like something you want to inhale.  When I saw what she was making over at http://www.piebirds.org/ I had to try. Hey I don't have enough to do and I need another expensive kitchen appliance, time to start baking. Mind you I don't even eat bread anymore. Well unless I'm feeling really crazy. Ok I eat it all the time.

Actually I really can't stand my nieghbor; I'm thinking of finding this in the trash and putting it in her mailbox.

New treadmill workout to die for

Too hot to run outside, or its raining CONSTANTLY. Today I decided to do a workout I saw in Self magazine; the Minka Kelly treadmill workout. I can't believe how awesome this was so I thought I would share. I absolutely despise the treadmill but you can't beat the convenience. If I don't have a goal like this all I can think about is how miserable I am and every second goes by like an hour.

Here it is..

1 minute @ 5 speed
1 minute @ 5.5
1 minute @ 6
1 minute @ 6.5
1 minute @ 7
1 minute @ 7.5
1 minute @8
2 minutes @4.5

Repeat 5 times. YUP, 5 times.
I shit you not I didn't even know my treadmill had a speed of 8. I almost died but I stuck with it. You have no idea how bad I wanted to take a shortcut but I am really trying to DO WHAT I SAY IM GOING TO DO as it relates to diet and exercise and STOP WHINING or making excuses. I am better than most at working out; I need to remind myself of that. I tend to focus on the negative and curse myself for it but I was very happy I stuck with this because it was hard but I felt great. Happy running fuckers!  

Hypnotize me

I went to hypnosis the other day. Lest you think I'm getting all crazy - I had a groupon. There are lots of reasons people do this I guess, quitting smoking, quitting junk food, past life regression therapy, etc. My stated goal was to calm the fuck down. I want to learn to deal more productively with anxiety. You know, when your on a conference call and your already ticked off because its well past 5, the dishwasher is buzzing, you're trying to figure out what to make for dinner, the dog just shit all over the house, the kids are fighting, the phone is ringing and you want to shoot yourself in the head. Is this normal? These are the times I  guess everyone is stressed but there are also lesser events that make me feel the same way. I am never happy with the tradeoffs I make; I choose a high pressure job but I am tortured by the constant mess my house is. I choose to be lazy and stay on pinterest all night yet I'm pissed I didn't do something more productive. I choose not to volunteer at school anymore because I always run into a stepford wife that has dressed for the occasion with matching earrings and sandals and I haven't even taken a shower. Outwardly these things don't bother me but inside there's constant chatter about it.  The bottom line? I want to be everything and I want to be perfect. Make my own bread? YES. Serve condiments in their original containers are a dinner party? NEVER. I think you get the idea.     

First thing we did was to breathe; deep breathes in with positive thoughts...deep breathe out with all the crap in your head; like puking negative thoughts. It did relax me. Then I sat back in a chair and he started talking to me in a very soothing voice about being on top of a mountain with a cool breeze in my hair and he kept counting down to say every level I would let my mind wander and think of nothing. Half the time I thought I would die of laughter but I was really trying to be serious..to push back the constant noise in my head; (this is hysterical! I have to go to the dry cleaner! If this guy doesn't stop talking soon I'm going to be late to pick up the kids! Shit I forgot to go to CVS!). But it WAS very relaxing and once I felt on the verge of falling asleep he asked me questions like WHY do I feel anxious all the time. See the problem with therapy and all this stuff is that I know what my problems are; I am a perfectionist: if I don't go running when I'm supposed to I feel bad and I say bad things to myself; you are lazy, you have no will power.  I have a short fuse; little things aggravate me - mainly stupid people.   Why go to therapy? I'm not going to change the fact that I felt like the mother growing up and my father died and then mother died and I never felt like I belonged. Why talk about it? I know I'm a good person, a good mother, funnier than most, not as fat or wrinkly for my age as most. Doesn't change the fact that I am a perfectionist who drinks too much, works too much, sucks at baking, has the patience level of a gnat and I occasionally smokes (ok sometimes more than occasionally).

In any case, he asked me some of the root of all this while I was "under" (and I do remember answering, not sure if that means it didn't work). I did feel relaxed when he brought me back from the half asleep state I was in. He gave me a meditation cd, told me i had a lot of work to do and sent me on my way.  Ca-ching! I don't know if I'll go back. I am going to try the meditation cd and i am going to try the breathing techniques. It was really good for a day but then yesterday I had a horrific day at work; no one listening, having to repeat myself over and over, I let a detail slip that caused problems, etc etc.  But today's another day! Wish me luck :)

   

My first half marathon wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I finished in 2 hours which was pretty good considering I hadn't run more than 6 miles in 2 months; must have been the giant bowl of pasta I had the night before. Running a marathon is like the lie that you are pregnant for 9 months; they tell you its 26 or 13 but its really 26.2 and 13.1. My gps said is was 13.6!!! I can't say that I would have done this without my friend Jacquie's encouragement. We both have had our training challenges but we got out there and put one foot in front of the other. There were a lot of reasons why i couldn't do this. It felt really good to set a goal and meet it despite the fact that everything that could have gone wrong in training DID go wrong.  As you can see Jacqui is the stylish one.  

I met most of my goals, all of which involved some version of me not embarassing myself by sleeping through/tripping/puking/crapping/peeing or any kind of miscelleous bodily malfunctioning during the race.  I almost hurled but not for the reasons you would expect. You see my first half marathon was in the Dirty Woo. Ran through every kind of neighborhood and was very disracted the whole time, checking out all the houses in the nice neighborhoods and counting the number of check cashing stores in the bad.  The vomiting almost happened when I ran by a hugely unattractive guy in his bathrobe leaning against his front door smoking a butt. I also discovered that there are a LOT of hair braiding salons on Chandler St. FYI at races they aren't always hand out water - sometimes its gatorade and you should doublecheck before you decide it would be refreshing to douse yourself in it.  For some reason the whole first part of the race I thought about my stepfather who lived through unspeakable cancer pain (nothing compared to the pain of dragging my fat ass around town): between this and my trying to remember where he worked on chandler st I blew through a couple miles of mindlessness. Strangely I was competitive during the race even though my only goal was to finish. Almost every section I ran in focused on catching someone I couldn't bear losing to (I usually try not to end a sentence with a preposition but FUCK it I'm tired). I got a lot of satisfaction from blowing by the 90 year old man, the hippie wearing blue tights and the cottage cheese leg girl. As usual I saw lot of hilariously stupid things to amuse myself with. The race shuts down all the streets it goes through and its not the first year for you race so you would think people who live on the route would be used to it but I saw a guy in the "rich" part of town trying to get out of his driveway and he couldn't because it was wall to wall people so he was busy cursing moving his car a millimeter at a time; I have my anger management issues but its actually comical watching someone that idotically mad. Then this runner took matters into her own hands and started yelling CAR!! CAR!! as he tried to get down his street. Of course I laughed and stayed exactly where I was. PURE EVIL I TELL YOU. 

As if I don't have enough gear for everything I do I also discovered the compression (insert product: socks, pants, etc). Yes please!! Supposed to prevent shin splints, decrease muscle cramps and soreness!! Sign me up!!!


Does it make me a bad person that I wanted to toast my succcess with a refreshing minty newport light?

Bad parenting exhibit 2287

Things have been a little crazy round here. As in "MOM I HAVE NO CLEAN SOCKS", "DOG HASN'T BEEN FED", "NO ONE HAS CHECKED MY HOMEWORK", "HAVEN'T TAKEN  A SHOWER", 90 messages on the voicemail kind of crazy. Kids haven't had a homecooked meal, senile dog crapping all over the house - the standards are pretty low people. If you came here to be inspired by mother of the year I fear you are misguided; look elsewhere. I am not your girl. Some weeks I make homeade bread and some weeks I work 90 hours a week. That's just the deal.  Work has been the priority; I'm not gonna lie. If noone's bleeding, I'm working. I'm not proud of it. It is what it is. But a few reminders of my incompetence at work life balance are noteworthy.

Megan, my 8 year old daughter  has been asking me to print a picture of her for at least a month. Her classmate has asked for a picture of her. I don't have any ink or paper so I keep putting her off.  Finally she took matters into her own hands and found her kindergarten class picture and butchered it thusly. I don't know why i find this so horrifying.  Is it that I will always keep this, wanting to see who her class was in 50 years ago only to know that 1) I don't remember any of them and 2) my bad parental habits will be memorialized forever? There are so many things you forget as a parent, good and bad. This isn't one of them since now I have something that will forever remind me of the fact that I have to prioritize and reprioritize on a seemingly hourly basis and sometimes I make the wrong choice. Do I finish what I have to do for work or do I take my daughter to girl scouts? Do I nap because I worked 16 hours yesterday and can't put a sentence together or do I go the the market?

A good friend of mine who is an MIT graduate and a very nice person once told her 1 year old to "shut the fuck up!". Am I a bad person that I find this funny? Maybe, you're entitled to your opinion, and I'm entitled not to care. Just because we are keeping it real over here doesn't mean my kids suffer. 

One of these days I am going to write a book called "kids are retarded" and it will involve lots of stories such as
1. Me telling the kids that I am ON A VERY IMPORTANT CALL - ABSOLUTE SILENCE IS A MUST! only to be followed by both kids parading around the house playing portable recorders and pianos.  On a good day the kids will give me sticky notes, "Can I have a snack?", "Megan loves you!". But this one killed me. When she gave it to me I started crying while on a 7 hour work conference call that went to 11 at night. I suck!!

2. I was in the tub the other day and Dan was downstrairs. Both the kids came upstairs into the tub to ask me if I had a pencil when their father was sitting right there in the living room. Seriously? WTF is that all about? Do I have a pencil? In the tub? Sadly I remember doing this to my mother and yet i am gainfully employed (much to my chagrin).

There are just too many other stories, the rest if to be written.....

  

Stupid people are stupid plus they don't listen

Took the dog on an unsanctioned joy ride to CVS. As many of you know he is not allowed in the car, BANNED and for good reason. But F it! I wanted him to go on a joy ride.
I don't think I was out of my driveway before I was  rewarded for my violation of house rules by him crapping all over the car and himself. Emergency! I call a private family owned business as I always want to do. A place I have been many times.
Me: "Having an emergency, geriatric dog had a "bathroom accident" and I need an appt asap."
Moron: "for grooming or daycare"
Me: um grooming, unless you want to deal with an incontinent dog all day
Moron: We have an appt on june 15.
Me: Well given the circumstances I was hoping you could take him earlier.
Moron: No that's the soonest. , no empathy or apology
CLICK. Seriously?

Called petco and get a sweetheart of a girl who feels awful and wants to take my baby in NOW. Took him at 5 and he's out at 7 looking like a handsome gentleman.  Now I can't EVER go back to the un-named establishment ever because ahem, why would I? I WANTED TO GIVE THEM MONEY.

the devil told me to make waffles

I'm having a rough month. Work is crazy and I can't get control of my life. Forms coming in from school, kids activities, fundraising paperwork I have no intention of completing, you know the drill (PS who is going to invent a central system where I can register these damn kids for camps without filling out my home, work and cell numbers and next of kin 90 times).  Did I mention that my canned bean collection is not organized in order of expiration date? Yesterday I was so stressed out I thought every blood vessel was going to explode all over my messy house. All I could think of was if only Lucy the cleaning lady was here. Everything can be totally out of control but if your house isn't a wreck don't you feel LESS CRAZY? Should I call her in for an emergency or should i spend the $120 on a new pair of pink matchstick jcrew jeans (oh I didn't even know i wanted those!!). I just can't believe that I am 45 and I still don't have the secret for separating OCD from sleep. If my brain is capable of "higher thought" why isn't it capable of doing nothing? I mean don't you just know when you need to take a break? And yet I don't. My kids come home with endless stories of the day and all I can think about it getting back to my email and nodding absently, pretending to listen. Does that make me a bad person? Well I'm sure other people do it and I admited it so there. Fuck you. And your mother.

I even went on vacation in the midst of all this; obsessively checked my bberry, working the whole last weekend trying to get ahead, 12 hour days to follow. To no no avail, avalanche buries me. Today I  was toast - done! A million things to do but frozen in front of my computer wondering what to do first - and then it hit me. I NEED TO MAKE WAFFLES - NOW.  Middle of the day, all conference calls must go on mute and the process commenced. A sense of calm ensued as whipped up the waffles FROM SCRATCH. Now for those of you who think I'm a domestic - it is not so. I have guilt about not doing normal things which leads to extremes:

1. I do not go to all my sons games and practices for sports therefore I must make homeade Nutella
2. I am impatient. I yell at my kids for stupid shit. So I make sure that when my daugher wants to make any possible random craft, it is available. Running out of googly eye stickers is roughly on the same order of magnitude as no milk in the house. Did you know you can order paper plates on Amazon?

I am just a normal person trying to cook the food I buy before it rots and put food on the table that my kids won't complain about. Somehow making waffles allowed me to transition from psycho workaholic to normal person. And a 7 mile run didn't hurt either.  

Does anyone care?  

People that make me think of smelly farts

Fat and skinny people make me think of farting. I can't see this guy without thinking of what he smells like. I fantasize about Michael Vick having to smell him after a big team chili cook off. It's like word association: the minute I see his face I think of smelly farts.

Maybe Victoria Beckham is hot (if you like skeletons) but I can't imagine how bad she smells. Eating

non -lettuce must be very disturbing to the digestive system! I know when I don't eat anything but lettuce I look good but can't be around anyone. 

And last but not least this guy is just gross. I mean how can you not see him and think JUICY FART. I do not want to be in the bathroom after him. PERIOD.

Who makes you think of poopies? :)

Cotton bunnies

Nothing like a holiday to get me posting; I haven't posted anything recently. Mostly because my brain is in such a state of randomness I fear it would be a list of one liners, things I want to do or buy and rants. Good thing Easter is here to bring us back to happy thoughts and bunnies. I got this idea from here //www.busybeekidscrafts.com/Mini-Bunnies.html
My daughter Megan (7 and a half) was actually able to do most of it herself except the cutting Qtip part.

We made these for our little cousins who are coming over tomorrow but  then she decided that only the girls should have them.

You say Catsup I say Ketchup (homemade ketchup!)

The kids are pissed, their reign of terror is coming to and end. I am feeding them what I want them to eat and they are kind of liking it. I made a batch of this the other day and its good; Matt says its not good as the bottle - I may try a few variations. I have most of this stuff and I am constantly in the kitchen so not hard to make at all.  I would recommend not putting as much clove and allspice if you are going to try.

2 tablespoons olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped medium
1 clove garlic, minced
28-oz can tomato purée
1/2 cup packed dark brown sugar
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1 tablespoon tomato paste
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon ground mustard
1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
1/8 teaspoon allspice
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Let this be the year I find my waist

Today I went running and got smoked by a guy running at quadruple my speed. In my defense, he was wearing tights. HOW ON EARTH am I supposed to compete with a guy who wears tights? I was feeling better when I thought of that but then not 5 minutes later I was passed by a 4 foot tall pudgey midget lady. UGH. I have been verrrrry naughty lately. Many new years resolutions must be considered. I never dieted in my life but middle age girth has been stalking me like a horny fratboy follows a drunk girl.  I'm going on a girls cruise in February and I have to be able to sit up drinking my beer without a roll or ...er rolls. I mean its really hard to drink wine or beer when you're lying down - believe me I've tried. a straw helps but still its hard.  

Which leads me to my resolutions. First on the list of resolutions is my obsession with eliminating packaged foods. I've been reading about nutrition; my newfound knowlege tells me that a diet of hamburger helper, steak, wine, salty lunch meat and mucho dairy may not be a good thing. No seriously, I don't eat that bad but do my kids really need to be eating $5 ketchup made of pure sugar?  Let this be known as the year I stayed in on New Year's Eve and made ketchup (stay tuned for that - I wasn't quite happy with it so I will be posting my experimentations sometime when I'm super-bored and my soups are alphabetized).  Besides being obsessed with healthy food I'm getting disgusted at the $ everything costs; my daughter loves Pepperidge farm cinammon bread and goes through 2 $4.50 loaves a week; seriously, $10 a week for bread (one kind)? Its not that I don't have the $10 but there's plenty of other things I want to spend it on. That reminds me that the other day while my husband was busy telling me in depth about the international monetary crisis I was buying $50 bras on line; so you see I'm not CHEAP.  If you know me you know I have been stockpiling stuff so it might be 2014 before I make a brownie mix from scratch.  I have also been making homemade eye cream. ok maybe I am taking this a little too far....   
P.S. Dan's little chat about the diminishing value of the dollar has me more convinced that I NEED to buy more paper towels despite having 3 cases downstairs....prices are only going up people!

In any case, I am back on the modified diet http://www.cleanprogram.com/. I did this in August for 2 weeks (you are supposed to do it for 21 days). I felt great after the 2 weeks and dropped some weight. This time I am not giving up coffee and I am only going to do it during the week (no need to go crazy people). I am also going to write down what I eat on this
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/.  Having to do this makes me less likely to eat off the kids plates more accountable. And I'll be using my favorite new toy!
http://www.vitamix.com/
Other resolutions up for discussion:
1. Stop telling my husband how much I hate Kim Kardashian (according to him I say this at least a couple times a week).
2. Stop leaving the house with no makeup, dirty dog hair covered clothes and my slippers.
3. Take vitamins (you know, the things in the $20 bottles in my cabinet that make me want to puke)
4. Refrain from buying any more seasonal decorations. Do I really need to decorate the whole house for every freaking holiday?
5. In bed by 10. Bad things happen in the diet department when I stay up late. You call it snacking, I call it cleaning the fridge.
6. Find cure for frizzy hair

Things that may have to wait....on account of my over achieving tendencies
7. Finish projects I start; I love to cut out recipes I never made, buy craft supplies for proejcts I never complete, etc. Maybe I'll have to save this for next year...
8. Stop complaining about stupid people

Well thats ALL I have :)

Dilapidated gingerbread igloo

this isWhy do I do this to myself? Gingerbread mixes are $6!! I swear to god (BRUCE) that I followed the directions.  I mean King Arthur flour is THE source.  I mean is there anything I can't F up?

http://www.kingarthurflour.com/baking/documents/gingerbread.pdf

I spent at least $15 and 4 hours on this travesty: my arm muscles are actually SORE. I even MEASURED the thickness of the walls and THIS IS THE RESULT. This reminds me of my breadmaking experiments; $100 at Bread and Circus for some nice chewy pumpernickel until my friend Jane said "Do you know you can buy bread for $2?  I think I need a consultant to come watch me bake to see what I am doing wrong.  Or perhaps its that I am the only home sapien in the suburbs without a Kitchenaid mixer?  I can only imagine what the final product will look like.  Perhaps my time is best spent at work after all.

The other side of the house

Before picture with cute model

Since moving into this house I have not been able to stand my dining room and living room. BLECH!!!! I wish I took a good before and after pic - but for 10 years I have not been able to deal. Its not that a lot of thought hasn't gone into it...quite the contrary. I just hadn't found pinterest.com yet.  First of all, we inherited a high quality dining room set that was very 70's. You can kind of see the china cabinet here behind my cutie on her birthday.  I remember decorating this when I was pregnant. Apparently I was in a yellow/red/classic mood. Its like someone vomited gold and red all over the place.

As  you can see on the right under the dancing queens; the vomit fest expanded to the next room because, since I grew up in the 80's: I am obsessed with matchy matchy. Dining room furniture falls  somewhere below "things you do when your kids college fund is fully funded" on the priority list. I have not been very inspired here. I let that block me and said, welp there's not much I can do.

First thing I did was to move the monstrous china cabinet that I hated to the opposite wall. Now this is what you see. I bought these pictures as jpg files on line and framed them in cheap Michaels' frames. I put 2 lamps I had on the buffet and viola! I never would have thought to do this but I saw it on line somewhere.

Then, my Coup de grâce; THE ZEBRA RUG. I don't know where i got this idea but I love it! I got permission to mix an oriental run in one room with an animal print in the next room. WHOA!!! I ordered a similar rug from rugsdirect.com but when went to home goods the next day and found it cheaper: AND got this awesome pillow.  What do you think????

Getting the Virgo off my back

My monkey is a Virgo and it wouldn’t get off me for a few weeks. My head is full of nonsense; worrying about every little thing at work and home, feeling overwhelmed, not eating well, etc. I’m up half the night worrying about work and let me just say that I am not the obsess-in-bed-and-solve-problems type. Oh no; I get nothing resolved whatsoever. My worrying consists of thinking about every piece of minutia on my “to do” list backward and forward. I’m surprised I don’t suck my thumb while I do it. I have taken to getting out of bed and working at 4 am once a week because I just can’t stand sitting there thinking and wasting time. Why am I overwhelmed I ask myself? Well let’s see what I’m working on right now besides the usual work 50 plus hours a week, take care of house and kids, take kids to their activities, homework, worry about friends and family, etc but there’s

•   Couponing – otherwise known as printing, searching and going to 9 stores a week for deals; if you need some barbeque sauce I'm your girl. In my defense its a lot of work to make sure that the house has enough toilet paper. Ass wiping is serious business.
• Halloween prep - see previous posts
• Learning to wear makeup; aka watching youtube to learn what I was supposed to have learned like 30 years ago. Why do I care? WRINKLES. DUH.
• Trying to get my kids to eat or ..er ..trying not to feed the kids chicken nuggets every day. Searching for recipes; buying ingredients for recipes, throwing food away that I never make recipes with, etc. Nuff said.
• Pinterest; if you are not spending 3 hours a day on this you don't know what you're missing; I mean I thought I had enough to do but now I can add homemade beauty supplies to the list. Did you know you can make you own pore strips? 
• Obsessive organizing. I actually was up all night last week trying to imagine objects I could use to organize my cabinets on the cheap. One site actually recommended empty tuna cans for the junk drawer. This is not for me.
• Redecorating my dining room and living room and every other room in my house that I haven't finished. Post to come. 
• Waxing. My eyebrows. Its all I can do not to go every day.

I am not just your classic perfectionist; I want to do it all and I want to do it now. And don’t tell me to relax. I don’t do relax. The more I do the more I want to do and the more I expect.  In any case, funny what a downward spiral I can get myself into.  I have a headache, so I don’t go running, I stay up too late, and I have a bag of m&ms at midnight which makes me more tired and less likely to do the things that make me sane like working out and eating/sleeping well.  Stress builds up until I want to explode, or take a nap (it’s a black or white world for me my friends).  My runs have been horrible; every day I seem to get slower, counting every step of my torturous runs.  

Today rather than let myself go deeper into my own mental prison I forced myself to drink a half a gallon of water to cure my headache and went running; feeling like I may have an aneurysm on the way but it was better than the alternative. I had one of the best runs ever. When I came to the hill I normally hit where I have to stop and walk .....I kept going and said to myself YOU CAN DO THIS. I thought of the worst times in my life; my mothers death, stepfather's illness, breakup with person-who-shall-remain-nameless; ....all of it feeling like you just can't put one foot in front of the other.  And I just did it one step at a time. It was like that Bruce song the Rising - I was at the bottom of a mountain and started crawling, then jogging shedding layers of SHIT along the way - I could hear the song Eye of the Tiger playing and when I get to the top of the mountain (home) and I’m feeling like a trillion bucks and I look down at myself and my ...shirt ....is ....on ....inside out. TYPICAL.

Label it...ALL OF IT

I don't know what is wrong with me; I have 90 things going on and yet I keep starting other projects. My search for some rice I knew I had but couldn't find resulted in an OCD episode of magnamimous proportions. 9 trips to Bed and Bath later...all my cabinets are reorganized and labeled with new oxo containers that set me back way more than I care to admit. I even measured my cabinets dimensions before I went. I realized my label machine was broken last week and had to make an emergency trip to get a new one (with my $5 staples coupon and rewards printed of course). I must say I don't like the new one but my daughter has discovered the joy of obsessive organizing labeling; she loves it and hey - its good spelling practice. The good news is that when ditalini comes up on the spelling list my daughter will be way ahead of the game.

Labelling assistant

Can't you just picture her 40 years from now telling her friends how her crazy bitch super organized mother used to demand ask that she help organize the kitchen? One of my memories of my father who died when I was 13 was us sleeping while he vacuumed around us. This probably explains a lot.

I ripped everything out of all the cabinets and organized everything based on how I use it. Pasta (as you can see), condiments, baking stuff, Cereal, etc. I tried to buy the containers that made the best use of the space I had; as you can see the pasta containers are tall and skinny. We have many pastas!

I put the cereal in bags near the bottom of the cabinet so the kids can get at it and I don't have 90 boxes full of half empty cereal. I just wrote with a sharpie what kind of cereal it is. I put all my baking stuff on a high shelf together.

I have a giant pantry but there's so much space to the left and right of the opening that i can't get to. We won't go into the random stuff I found there. I bought these lazy susan thingies for the corners so at least I can get at them.

I am a little horrified at how much food I had to throw out. Seems kind of foolish to have been spending all this time cutting coupons only to throw food away because its buried in my pantry. Must move on from labeling to using what I have; if you are hip and cool you know this is called upcycling.

I'm hoping that with these small change the kids will let me sleep until 11 9 every morning.  No more kids rifling through the closet looking for school snacks; they are all labelled!

We even ran out of labels; there is nothing we can't find now!  

Here's all the sites I looked at to get ideas.

http://iheartorganizing.blogspot.com/2011/08/its-here-kitchen-cabinet-tour.html

http://www.thehouseofsmiths.com/

http://orgjunkie.com/2011/07/taking-action-on-your-everyday-papers.html

Next up....kid paperwork

The passing of Rainbow sunshine

It was a sad day for the Scearbos; Megan's fish Rainbow sunshine died today. He made it over 2 years which is good in fish life but Megan was very sad and cried herself to sleep. My heart aches for her. She learned about intestines today in health so she said she thought maybe it was a problem with his "intestints". Maybe so...probably had more to do with the toxic ph levels in his tank.   

For my sisters

Goodbye little buggies

God I hate fruit flies. I can sit in my house and slap away at them all day. This works!! I did it lastnight and I hate them so much that I had to take a picture of the dead little f'ers. Click on the title for the "recipe". Insert evil laugh.

I am a 45 year old pubescent

Most people discover their makeup obsession at 14. Mine happened at 44. I could spend 9 hours a day on this site; stopping and rewinding. Its really too bad I don't go anywhere to where all this makeup. Not to be like Madonna but these chicks make me want to go all brittish.

I had an awesome day at the ER

I was just thinking as I was running today that I have way too much to do..in fact I was actually running faster than normal (aka turbo turtle speed) because I had so much "important work crap" to do. Queue call from school nurse-who-knows-my-number-by-heart (am I the only one on the planet who wants to ask the nurse whether my frequency of visit is higher than average?). In any case she tells me that Matthew fell at recess and needs stitches.
I suffer from painful indecision as i try to weigh my new resolution not to leave the house without at least showering against my desire to save my injured child. I had to admit when I saw the offending "opening" it looked like I could store some stuff in there Pappillion style. I loaded up enough snacks and reading material to stay at the hospital for a week and we headed on down to the ER. Any time I've had an issue and tried to get into the ER I've had to wait like 9 days. Apparently having a cute little muffin with you helps; he got in right away.

If you've been to the ER you know how annoying it is that they ask you the same question 90 times. Matthew got me some redemption.

Nurse 1: How did you do this?
Matthew: I fell
Nurse 1: Did you hit your head?
Matthew: Does it look like I hit my head?
Nurse 1: No
Matthew: Well why are you asking me then
Nurse 1: I have to ask; nevermind, how much do you weigh?
Matthew: Why does what I weigh have anything to do with my cut?
Nurse 1: oh aren't you cute

Nurse 2: Hi Matthew what happened?
Matthew: didn't you talk to the other lady?
Nurse 2: oh yes but we have to ask alot of questions.
Matthew: whatever, do you want to see my cut?

Admission lady: Hi little buddy how are you
Matthew: ok but i have a cut
Admission lady: oh no do you feel safe at home?
Matthew:  Wow you guys ask alot of wierd questions

Doctor #1: Hi Matthew lets see your boo-boo
Matthew: ok you're the 5th person whose seen my boo boo
Dr: Well I hope I can fix it, we will need stitches
Matt: what are stitches?
Dr: its like sewing your tissue
Matt: there are tissues in there?
Me: (no not the blow your nose tissues)

So anyway, if you're waiting for the punchline, Matt is fine. He had 4 stitches and by the time they put the numbing medication on him he didn't even feel the stitches; he was playing his PSP the whole time while I paced around texting and emailing about my work crisis. Having your child in the hospital takes years off your life. Every minute is like living an extra year. I can feel the wrinkles coming on. At the same time I have a major crisis going on at work and I am on my laptop while waiting for the Dr. I think of that movie Despicable Me.  I am Efficient Despicable Me. She who makes even the Dr wait while I answer a critically assenine questions about a life threatening powerpoint. Now i get to work all night for the snafu of having missed a half a day.